The only excellent time for love to hurt is while it is humorous enough to tear your sides. Make your darling chuckle this Valentine’s with these amusing Valentine’s Day stories.
Perfect Puns
While Valentine’s Day approached, I attempted to dream up an extraordinary present for my partner. When I found out that his favorite red-plaid denims had a busted zipper, I thought I had the “ideal Valentine.” I had the denims patched up, and gift-wrapped them. On the parcel I placed a big red heart on which I made: “My Heart Pants for you.” I was the astounded one, nevertheless, after I saw the same heart strapped to our previously empty, however now flooding the wooden box. On it he had printed: “Wood You Be My Valentine?”
Check Out Romance
I met my partner whilst I was employed in a science library. He came in each week to read the most recent journals and ultimately choose to fish out the librarian in place of the books. Following a year and a half of dating, he turned up at the library and began poking around my desk. I inquired what he was in search of, however, he did not respond. In conclusion he uncovered one of the rubber stamps I utilized to recognize reference books. “Because I could not get the correct engagement ring,” he held, “this should do,” and he determinedly marked my hand. Across my knuckles, it read “NOT FOR CIRCULATION.”
High-tech Romance
My boyfriend Hans and I met on the internet and we had been dating for more than a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was enthralled by the reality that we met online. He solicited Hans what sort of line he had employed to pick me up. Ever the nerd, Hans honestly replied, “I just utilized a normal 56K modem.”
Sexy Nightgown
The lingerie shop where my aunt works was packed with customers choosing Valentine’s Day presents for their wives. A youthful entrepreneur came with a lacy black dressing gown. My aunt noted that the next client, an old farmer, was grasping an extensive flannel nightdress and kept looking at the younger man’s sexier option. Once it was his turn, the grower put the nightdress on the counter top. “Would you have something with black flannel?” He inquired.
9-5 Love
My spouse, a certified public accountant, worked for 15-hours per day for the initial few months of the year. Regardless of his chaotic timetable, he took a break to order me flowers for Valentine’s Day. Whilst thinking about what sweet, kind word to inscribe on the card, he evidently started thinking of the countless hours of work still in front of him. His note read: “Roses are red, violets are blue. If I were not thinking of you, I would most likely be through.”
More Than a Greeting Card
My buddy Mark and I work in a lawn-mower-parts store. In some way Mark got the thought that his wife did not wish for a card on Valentine’s Day, however, after he talked to her on the telephone he found out she was anticipating one. Not having time to acquire a card on his ride home, Mark was in a dilemma. After that he saw the lawn-mower trade publications spread out in the office — and got a plan. Using glue and scissors, he made a card with photos of mowers, beside which he wrote: “I lawn for you mower and mower every day.” Mark’s partner loved it. The card instantly charmed their refrigerator door.
